Hello everyone! I know it has been a while yet again since I last posted, and for that I apologize. However, I am now eager to share some of the work that I completed throughout Ministry School in my first of two years with you. So, I am starting a new series here on my blog called the “Fire & Grace Files”. In this series, I will share some of the homework I have done in my classes on a variety of topics. The first topic of the series will be some of the Evangelism essays I wrote for my Core class.
As you will see below, this short essay is my first attempt at writing an essay for school after many years of not writing essays at all. I’m a storyteller, and so I took that approach with this assignment. The teacher said it’s great, but they’re not looking for this style, but more of a “just tell it like it happened” style. So as I release some of these papers, you will notice that my writing style has changed.
Another note: Because this subject was covering real-life evangelism, I have left out a lot of details that would otherwise “name” those whom I had the pleasure of evangelising. I don’t ever want anyone to feel uncomfortable talking to me, especially concerning God and His work here with me and those around me. I do, however, want to ensure that I am able to talk about some of these things on my blog as a way to help others who may be dealing with the same things in their lives. So, this is how I’ve decided to share this work with the public.
The following essay is after a women’s weekend that I attended for the Keryx ministry, and is on the subject of forgiveness. I hope this reaches anyone who needs it.
“You have to let it go”, I said, urging my friend in a whisper. Beautiful worship music was being sung all around us, and she cowered in the crook of my arm, shivering against my chest. She took a deep breath before leaving the safety and comfort I provided her and took the final step she needed. Finally, she released what she had been holding onto and rushed back to the shelter of my embrace. She began to sob heartily as the other women around us and I drew in closer to comfort her, while still singing worship music together.
Finally, she had given the forgiveness that she knew she had been needing to give. Was this to herself, her family, a friend, or someone else entirely? I cannot be sure, but I can be sure that some walls and chains broke down around her that Saturday night at Keryx. When she finally let go of those who had wronged her, she offered them to Jesus and sobbed in relief. Throughout the women’s weekend, I was able to talk with her several times, in brief moments, about the forgiveness theme that God seemed to have placed on the weekend. Most of the talks mentioned the power of forgiveness, and being on the leadership team, I knew that was not something we ourselves coordinated. God was moving.
In the few moments I had with my friend, I was able to reinforce the power of Jesus’s ability to take from us these things that overwhelm us and break us down. Especially considering the things that we cannot forgive others for, or let alone in ourselves. I was able to remind her that it was a command even to forgive others, as He forgives us. I was able to encourage her with the knowledge that forgiveness is quite often not a one-and-done type of thing, but rather a process you might have to go through multiple times, depending on the situation.
One of the stories in my own testimony that I had mentioned to her was that the fact that I consistently need to work on forgiving myself. Whenever Satan seems to bring up new things that I had done in my past, whether I willfully or ignorantly forgot these things, he will bring them up to harass me. (It’s different than conviction, I have learned.) And so, the process for me, at least, starts all over again. I must fully look into what is being remembered and why I feel I cannot forgive myself. If it’s something really “bad” for me, then I ask Jesus to help me forgive myself for it. If not, then I tell myself that I forgive myself and see how it goes. It’s an ongoing fight, and one that I know is needed, because I have seen the results of giving it to God and forgiving myself, and I have also seen the results of not doing so. Irritation at everything, badmouthing myself, tormenting myself, and more, all because I feel I cannot forgive myself. That used to be my entire life!
But I have Jesus in my life now. She has Jesus in her life, too. And so it was a blessing for me to remind her and to comfort her when she did finally assent to let go, to forgive, and to give it to Jesus. I know she has a bumpy road ahead still, and I hope she finally realizes that she’s not alone anymore. She has me to lean on as a shoulder to cry on if need be, and Jesus above all to love her when she feels no one else does. That He will take her burden, break her chains, and set her free.
I look forward to a time when I can spend more than a few minutes in passing with her, to really hone in on this topic, as she certainly has needed it. That would be the one thing I wish I could have changed about talking with her on forgiveness during the Keryx weekend. I’m glad I was able to be determined in my approach to discussing the topic whenever the opportunity arrived, and that it seemed to have sunk in for her throughout the weekend. I’m thankful too, for God’s help in the matter, because of how intertwined the theme of forgiveness seemed to be within the weekend itself. I simply pray that she holds fast and stays the course and that all of her relationships improve, now that she has chosen forgiveness.
There is so much more I could say about the subject of forgiveness! And, maybe one day I will do so, but that is out of the scope of this series.
I truly hope you enjoyed taking a peek into some of the work I did for my ministry school, and even a bonus peek into some of the healing that can occur at a Keryx weekend. They truly are beautiful and healing weekends for all who attend.
This series will have some longer papers posted, but I’m starting off short and easy for you all to see how it’s received. Thank you for reading this far! Please comment below if you have anything or anyone on your heart that you need help forgiving. Or, if you want to keep things private and would like me to pray for you, please send me an email at: me@jessdobbs.com.
God Bless you and keep you!
♥ Jess ♥
