Today I want to go into something a bit different than usual, but is also a big part within my own walk with Jesus. That subject is Cussing, and how it is a venom within your own heart, and also how it is a secret hurt trying desperately to get out and to seek help.
Honestly, I hadn’t thought to “speak” on this, if you will, but last night God put it on my heart within a dream to speak to someone about the issue of cussing. He didn’t reveal who, and I don’t believe I’ll ever know who, and I’m quite content with that. However, the fact remains that I feel called to write a bit about what I’ve learned on this subject, as it is something I’ve been working on in my own life too.
To begin, I think I’ll start with my own background in this matter, before diving into how I see it as a both a venom and a secret hurt, adding some emotions that are brought up by cussing, and then finishing with some Bible verses that corroborate what I’ve learned. I do want to take the time here to remind you that I am in no way trying to judge you if you cuss. I simply want to share with you what I’ve learned and experienced in my own life and walk with Jesus. If this convicts your spirit however, then I recommend praying on this subject matter. 🙏🏻
My Journey with Cussing
Growing up, I had very little contact with Church or Christians in general. My mother was pretty emphatic that she wanted myself and my brothers to seek out God in our own time and in our own ways. My grandmother took me to a little church group for a while, but it was beyond what I could understand, and so I stopped attending. (I honestly don’t know if that’s precisely why, but I’m assuming I got bored of going, and so stopped going. I was roughly 8-10 when I stopped going.)
Also, I attended public schools and it is sufficient to say that there was enough cussing going on around me in my formative years, that I thought nothing of it, other than “it’s stupid that adults can say these things but I can’t”. (Yay, envy!)
However, at around 16 years old, my mother relaxed that stipulation on me, and allowed me to cuss at home, so long as I was still careful about it in public. I gleefully took her up on her offer, and became a true potty mouthed sailor. (Yay, pride!)
I cussed all day long with my friends at school, so long as teachers weren’t around. I cussed all day long with my friends at their homes, so long as their parents weren’t around. And I cussed all day long at home, much to the chagrin of my little brothers, who wanted to join in on the “fun”.
By the time I was 18 years old, I truly had a potty mouth that would make most blush. And that potty mouth stayed with me until 2024. Yes, until just last year. It was then that God finally got my attention through Pastor Dean Odle, who is teaching weekly on a broadcast via Facebook, Rumble, and his own website.
Pastor Dean is one who is unafraid to speak truth where he sees it. Both in the Bible and in the political realm. I admire him for that for many different reasons, but that will have to be for another story. For this one, I must say that Pastor Dean has preached on the subject of following Jesus as you should, not as the World says you should. He preaches on what’s in the Bible, and delves into the Greek and Hebrew translations of words and phrases, to give further context into what he is teaching.
And one of the subjects is of course, not cussing. At first, I thought like many may think, “Oh, it’s okay. God knows my heart. He knows this is just how I speak. They’re just words after all.” But, God continued to convict me on this point through Pastor Dean’s sermons. I needed to stop cussing.
Then I fought internally with the “Well, maybe I’ll only do it at home, or with people who I trust and who don’t care if I cuss!” type of thoughts. Ah, bargaining… It doesn’t work by the way. 🙂
Finally, I gave in, and decided for myself and in my heart to try to stop cussing and follow God as He wants to be followed. And I must say, after the first week, it has been remarkably easier than anticipated. There are still moments where a cuss word will slip out, and I have to apologize to God each time it happens, but overall, my potty mouth is pretty clean now.
The Venom & The Secret Hurt
So, if you’ve reached this far in my article, first I want to thank you. I tried to make the above as painless to read as possible. (Meaning, as short as I could.) I could have easily made this article about my own journey, but that’s not what I feel called to do. So, thank you for reaching this point with me. Because now, I want to talk about how cussing is venomous and how it shows the secret hurts within your own heart.
Enter, the Snake. That Old Serpent. Satan. Yes, we will be discussing him here, and how he works through cussing (sometimes also known as cursing or swearing, though, those are technically different things), to cause hurt to yourself and others. And quite honestly, the snake is a perfect example for the venom within your heart, and how it spreads to others.
This morning, after looking up some Bible verses to help with this article, I decided to look into how venom is spread. Of course, the best example is by a snake bite. This is what I found:
“To deliver venom, snakes have hollow fangs that act like hypodermic needles. When a snake bites, muscles in its head squeeze the venom glands. This pushes the liquid through its fangs muscles in its head squeeze the venom glands. This pushes the liquid through its fangs and into the flesh of its prey.” (Source: https://letstalkscience.ca/educational-resources/stem-explained/how-snake-venom-kills-and-saves-lives )
That makes for a pretty interesting parallel into how venom spreads. So, if we apply that to cussing and the venom in your heart, it might go something like this:
Someone close to you hurts your feelings, by either calling you a name, speaking a lie about you, or simply disrespecting you in some form or manner. The point here, is that you are now hurting, and because of that hurt, you are carrying that hurt (venom) within your heart.
And while having an off day or a bad day, because of that hurt (or even thinking upon it), a coworker or a friend or family member comes up to you, and asks you what is wrong, or tries to offer advice to “cheer up” or something similar. And in that moment, you snap at them! “F— You! You don’t understand!” Just like a snake quickly biting it’s prey.
Because your heart was carrying and holding onto that venom, and because you still think it’s okay to cuss, you’ve now snapped at someone, and potentially passed that venom onto them. This is how Satan loves to work. Little bits of venom, building up in your heart, until you lash out and spread it around.
Do you see how it is both a venom and a silent hurt?
And one of the ways to take care of that, is to stop cussing. You might think this is a ridiculous idea! And, until last year, I would have been in full agreement with you. However, please, hear me out. First, I do want to say this is not me judging you. This is not me going “Look, I stopped, and now I’m better than you. So now you have to do the same as me to be just as good as me.” No. Full stop. No.
I want to discuss with you these things that I’ve experienced, so that way you can ponder them and pray about them yourself. Let God lead you, not me, nor anyone else.
But, to continue, I feel that if you stop cussing, it can start to help stop the spread of the venom. Because if you have that self-enacted profanity filter on, in the example above, you would have (more than likely anyhow), stopped yourself from snapping at them. I mean, just how good does it feel if someone snaps at you? It doesn’t feel good at all. And then to add the profanity on top of it, can make it worse, depending on how it comes out.
But, if you have that filter upon yourself, it gives you a moment to stop yourself, and thereby, potentially stopping the spread of that venom. That hurt that is within you won’t inflict others. And I don’t know about you, but when I unintentionally hurt others by lashing out in such a way, it hurts me even further.
So, to make the story short, because you are cognitively deciding to not cuss, you are cognitively stopping yourself from snapping. I don’t know about you, but for me, cussing came as a natural reflex, especially when I was in a bad mood, and snapping at people.
Emotions that Cussing Can Cause
Quickly, I want to take a moment to go over some of the emotions that cussing can cause in others (or yourself.) I speak from experience on all of these.
Hurt/Sadness: Cussing at someone can hurt their feelings. It can belittle them, making them feel less than they are. It can further exacerbate any sadness that is already within them. (My ex-husband wanted me to stop cussing, but never gave me a reason that felt good enough to do so. I would cuss more frequently whenever we argued, in order to hurt him.)
Offense: The Spirit of Offense is strongly tied to cussing I feel. Many people are offended by cussing, especially when used often and in public. This can lead to unjust judgment and preconceived notions about you as a person. (I’ve used cussing to purposefully cause offense in people before, as mentioned above, and elsewhere for shock factor.)
Pride: People can become quite prideful over their cussing tendencies. I was certainly under this for a while. You’ll see people say things like, “So what if I cuss? God knows my heart!” (I’ve said this very statement.) You’ll see them sharing studies that “show people who cuss have above average intelligence!” (I’ve shared such studies.)
Anger: Anger accompanies cussing, almost as well as macaroni accompanies cheese. Most times, when you’re angry, cussing and using profane language go hand in hand. (Anytime I’m mad, my mind instantly goes to f— this and f— that. Even to this day, I have to reel that sort of thinking in.)
Envy: This is more for children, I feel, than adults. But, people could become envious of you being able to speak so “freely”. Even when I was a kid, I would be envious of friends who had no qualms about cussing, or adults who would cuss but then tell me not to do so. (I should admit here as well, that there are times when I find myself wishing or missing being able to speak as I used to, when hearing others use words that used to be favorites of mine.)
Some Bible Verses to Pray Over
Thanks for reading this far, and I truly hope that the above article has given you something to think over or even better, to pray over. I do want to point out that I am not a professional writer and I am not a Pastor, or ordained in any meaningful manner. (I am ordained through the American Marriage Ministries to conduct weddings in the State of Michigan, but I don’t feel that applies to this.) However, I am always trying to learn more about God, His Word, and His Will for me. And, I am trying to imperfectly share what I’ve learned with you, the reader.
Here are some Bible Verses to go over. They are all in the King James Version, and I will add some of my own notes to each one and how it relates to the article.
“Abstain from all appearance of evil.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:22
To a lot of people, cussing is uncomely, to put it nicely. It offends them. It incenses them. It provokes them. It can cause anger. It can cause envy. It can cause pride. All of these things, if not dealt with properly, can lead directly to evil.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” – Proverbs 4:23
“But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies” – Matthew 15:18-19
“O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? For out of abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.” – Matthew 12:34-35
Jesus taught the very concept that whatever comes out of your mouth, comes forth from your heart. And it is this very teaching that lead me to the above article. Truly, if you are hurt, you are more likely to try to hurt others. It goes to the saying of “Hurt people, hurt people.” Read that slowly. People who are hurt, are the ones who hurt people in return. If your heart is full of venom, you will unleash it upon others.
“Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long.” – Proverbs 23:17
I added this verse because of the envy I talked about cussing bringing forth within people. There are times when I find myself struggling with wishing I could once again cuss freely as I used to do. The “F—” word was my favorite to use.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” – Proverbs 18:21
“For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.” – Mark 11:23
Your words have far more power than you realize. They have the power to bring about joy, love, and comfort, as well as, pain, anger and grief. This is why it is so important to learn to control what you say and how you say it. Jesus taught this concept, and to be honest, our words have far more power than simply arousing emotions. That is why I am careful to call this “cussing” and not “cursing” or “swearing”, as those are two different acts outside of “cussing.” (I’ll try to do another article about the differences between the three.)
“Teach me, and I will hold my tongue: and cause me to understand wherein I have erred.” – Job 6:24
“My lips shall not speak wickedness, nor my tongue deceit.“ – Job 27:4
“I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me.“ – Psalms 39:1
“Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.” – Psalms 34:13
“The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.” – Psalms 37:30
“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4
“The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.” – Proverbs 16:23
“Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” – Proverbs 21:23
“If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.” – James 1:26
“For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile” – 1 Peter 3:10
There is a whole slew of Bible verses that talk about restraining your tongue, and not speaking wickedly. Profane speaking is not something God wants for us, and the reasons are becoming clearer to me the more I learn. I pray they are becoming clearer to you as well.
“He shall suck the poison of asps: the viper’s tongue shall slay him.“ – Job 20:16
I found this one interesting, considering the example I used with the snake bite and venom. If you suck on the poisons of asps (a type of snake), the viper’s (another snake) tongue shall slay you. So, I feel that this is relevant for this discussion, as the more you suck on that poison (cussing), the more that that poison will work to slay you. (Like hurting others when you don’t mean to hurt them, as in my example.)
“How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north” – Isaiah 14:12-13
I find it beyond fascinating to know that Satan’s fall began when he had it in his heart to be above God. It all started in his heart! It proves fully Jesus’ teaching that whatsoever is in your heart shall then proceed forth from it. Satan is the king of lies and deception, and it all began within his heart. I pray that you learn from his folly and not follow him into it.
In Closing…
There is a lot to this article, and I apologize to those who were expecting something a bit shorter. However, I feel that it all needed to be written out. Please remember that I am not a professional writer, nor am I ordained at this time. I simply felt I needed to share all of this, along with some of my own history with the topic.
I pray that it helps you to further understand God’s plan for you, and some of the reasons why He asks that we don’t cuss.
Thank you for reading.
God Bless you and keep you!
♥ Jess ♥
